Are you ready to take the low emotional intelligence test? If any of these signs sound familiar to you, it means your emotional intelligence quotient needs improvement. In that case, you need to start today to work on your emotional intelligence.
Many of us have grown up reading mostly about intelligence quotient (IQ), which measures a person’s cognitive abilities, like how smart a person is at problem-solving, reasoning, and logic. An IQ score of 130 or above indicates a high intelligence quotient, which means the person’s ability to learn and understand is better than most people in his peer group.
So, would it be right to assume, people with higher IQs will achieve more in life because they are smart?
Although this assumption is logical, it has been proven incorrect.
Because just being smart doesn’t make you a successful person. There’s another type of intelligence that researchers have linked to success, and that is emotional intelligence (EQ).
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Let’s break the suspense. What is emotional intelligence and how it affects our lives, career, relationships, and overall success?
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand, manage, and work with emotions so as to relieve stress, deal with others empathetically, overcome hurdles, and cope with environmental demands and pressures effectively.
Emotional intelligence plays a central role in meaningful progress in both our personal and professional lives. From building relationships with people and communicating efficiently to improving decision-making skills and making progress in the workplace, emotional intelligence is everywhere.
Some of you might even be surprised to know that many experts believe EQ may actually be more important than IQ when it comes to overall success in life.
Low Emotional Intelligence Definition
Low emotional intelligence is the lack of ability of a person to perceive and control his/her emotions and the emotions of other people. In other words, people with low emotional intelligence fail to understand why they feel the way they do, why they think the way they do, and why they act the way they do.
So, how to know if you’re struggling with low EQ? Below are eight typical signs of people with low emotional intelligence.
Signs Of Low Emotional Intelligence
1. They Are Bad At Reading People
As the definition says, emotional intelligence enables you to understand emotions in other people, and I believe it’s an invaluable skill to have.
When you start reading what people say beyond their words, it saves you from a lot of trouble and helps you respond effectively.
For example, If someone is upset but not opening up about their situation, a person with a high degree of emotional intelligence would likely sense the problem. Now that he knows the person is stressed, he’d treat him with care, like saying kind words that could help him feel better.
On the contrary, misreading people can lead to problems as well.
For example, If your friend is angry, and instead of understanding his emotional state, you begin to hold grudges and distance yourself from him for not treating you right.
So if you are bad at reading people, it’s a strong sign that your emotional intelligence is lacking.
2. They Have To Be Right All The Time
Thinking you are always right or you can’t be wrong is a sign of low EQ. The fact is you don’t have to be right all the time, and this is how you learn. If you get into arguments with people around you, turn a deaf ear to what they have to say, and feel offended when someone holds an opinion different than you, it indicates you’ve low emotional intelligence.
I have seen people arguing a point to death, believing their own false opinions, and refusing to listen. Honestly, it’s hard to spend even a small portion of time with such people because they live with fixed mindsets and don’t learn what they don’t know due to their arrogance and ego.
3. They Lack Empathy
Empathy allows you to sense other people’s feelings. If you’re unempathetic, you won’t understand how your words or actions could affect others, and that’s a clear sign of low EQ.
You probably know someone who often becomes a source of discomfort for others because of his mean, insensitive jokes that others find insulting. Those who struggle with low emotional intelligence seem immune to other people’s feelings and find it difficult to understand what could upset their friends, family, co-workers, or even strangers. They often get themselves in hot water for lacking empathy and being mean-spirited to others.
So, before you say something, practice the pause. Pause before judging someone, pause before assuming things on your own, pause before reacting to anything, and you’ll stop saying or doing things that you might regret later.
4. They Avoid Talking About How They Feel
One of the classic signs of low emotional intelligence is refusing to talk about one’s own feelings. Most people do it because of fear of being judged or being represented as weak.
Even when someone insists on opening up about what’s bothering them, they use metaphorical language to describe their feelings, like No big deal. I am just a little upset. Everything is fine.
In simple words, they avoid talking about how they actually feel. They don’t address their emotions, which often affects their physical, mental, and emotional health because they deny taking the help they need.
Remember, bottling up emotions doesn’t make them disappear, but it makes them stronger.
5. They Blindly Follow Their Emotions
Emotional intelligence is about understanding your emotions, not blindly following them.
An example of foolishly following your emotions is when you get mad at someone who corrects you or points out your mistakes. Or when a friend of yours mentions the areas where you need improvement, but instead of being grateful to him, you instantly remind him of his blunders or past failures. Emotionally intelligent people never do that.
Don’t believe everything your emotions tell you. Sometimes they mislead us, and falling into the trap can create problems for us. Just as dangerous it can be to overvalue them as it’s to undervalue them.
6. They Have Poor Coping Skills
You can learn a lot about a person’s level of emotional intelligence by how he acts in emotionally-charged situations. One has to be very high on emotional intelligence in order to control his emotions, especially during difficult conversations. Needless to say, you can’t expect this degree of self-control from everybody.
Emotionally intelligent people don’t let their temporary feelings of exasperation or anger stop them from doing what is required. In a heated situation or during a dispute, they try to cool things down and focus on politely ‘agree to disagree’ instead of being a source that adds more fuel to the fire. It indicates that they are not only capable of recognizing their emotions, but of others as well.
7. They Try To Fix Other People’s Emotions
If you always try to fix feelings of sadness and distress in others without actually validating them, it’s a major red flag about your level of emotional intelligence.
For example, when a friend tells you he’s sad because of an ongoing issue in his life, but rather than acknowledging his emotions, you try to give him reason after reason for why he shouldn’t feel this way. It’s a sign that you lack emotional intelligence.
Someone with high emotional intelligence would listen to him peacefully and then validate his feelings without judging or advising him, like, I know you’re upset, and I understand, sometimes things don’t go our way. But I am with you whenever you need me. Please take care of yourself.
8. They struggle To Manage Their Emotions
Recognizing and understanding your emotions is not enough. Being able to manage them effectively is highly important. When a person is well aware of his emotional state, he makes decisions with respect to the situations.
For example; A person with high emotional intelligence will take a day off from work when he’s feeling stressed out or spend some time in a peaceful place until he’s feeling better. Reason? If he doesn’t do it, he might hurt the people around him with his words or actions and regret it later.
On the other hand, people with low emotional intelligence fail to recognize their body and mind needs and often lose their temper and make things worse.
A Word From PositiveSide
Nobody is perfect. Life is all about learning and improving. Having low emotional intelligence doesn’t mean you’re bad. But, if you recognize the signs of low emotional intelligence early, you can do much to increase the level of your emotional intelligence. It’s a skill and with time and practice, you can sharpen it.