Leaving someone you love is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but if they’re not treating you right, it’s the right thing to do.
Ending a relationship is never easy for anyone, but sometimes it’s the only choice you have. It seems even more difficult when you have to let go of someone you are still in love with because you recognize how they pictured themselves at the beginning of the relationship was not real. The way you are being treated is not the way you should be, and what you believed was promising has turned out to be toxic and is adversely impacting your health and well-being.
So, if you’re one of those living in an unhealthy relationship, and want to get out of it, here are a few tactics that will help you in doing so.
1. Keep Yourself From Being Manipulated
‘You’ve no idea the headache you are creating for yourself. I would never do that if I were you.’
Yes, this is how manipulative people control us and change our minds. Whether you want to stay or leave, this should be your decision. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be listening to anybody. Listen to what your family or friends are saying, but don’t let them decide on your behalf, emotionally blackmail you into doing what they want, or impose their decisions on you. In simple words, Listen, but don’t lose your own voice.
2. Work On Your Self-Esteem
When relationships don’t work, most people have to battle with low self-esteem issues. If you are the one ending the relationship, negative thoughts like I couldn’t make it work, It was all my fault, or Love is not for me, may take up space in your head.
Remember, the more you let negative thoughts take hold, the more you let negativity seep into your mind. Your unguarded thoughts will eat you from the inside if you don’t stop them.
Engaging in activities like meditation, exercise, spending time with your friends, learning new things, starting a new hobby, reading self-help books, and writing down things you like about yourself can help boost your self-esteem.
Ending a relationship with someone who mistreats you and gaslights you doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you are emotionally, mentally, and physically strong enough to not stay with the person who doesn’t deserve you at all. It’s wisdom, not weakness.
3. Plan Your Future
If you’re considering breaking up with your partner, before you announce your decision to him/her, make a solid plan for what you are going to do next. Do you have a place to live? How much money you have in your account? Will your family support you emotionally or financially till you regain control of your life? If not, then do you have at least one trusted friend you can look up to without fear of being judged?
Having things planned will help you deal with the break-up and make the healing process a lot easier. You’ll not feel completely lost. Instead, you’ll have a direction.
4. Give Yourself Time To Heal
Healing takes time. You can’t just unlove your partner overnight and move on like he/she doesn’t exist anymore. Remember, the person you are trying to exclude from your life was once the center of your universe. Be patient. Go slowly and step by step.
Another reason why many people don’t heal is, they try to suppress their emotions. You can’t heal if you keep pretending you are not hurt. You are hurt because someone you thought was your safe person maltreated you. Someone you believed would never bring you pain, ill-treated you. Acknowledge your emotions. It’s the only way to move away from the past that you need to leave behind.
5. Stick To Your Word
Take all the time you need before you make a decision. But once that decision is taken, stand by it. After leaving the abusive relationship, don’t look back at it. Even if you see your ex-partner apologizing to you, turn a deaf ear to him/her. Their time with you is over now. Don’t devalue yourself by including them in your life you once excluded because they caused you pain and broke your heart. If you keep allowing the wrong one to enter your life, you won’t be able to make room for the right one. You have thrown them out of your life for a reason. Remember that.
This is how you leave someone who doesn’t deserve you at all.